I’m in trouble. The date in my head to move to Los Angeles was mid-August. Except…I’m really enjoying being with my family. Except…I’ve become a part of a very successful improv troupe. Except…I may have a part in an independent film being shot in the area…..
I’m in trouble. This film, a horror film loosely titled ‘The Shifters,’ is auditioning lead actors for a movie they plan on circulating at festivals to be picked up for distribution. I bet it’d be a lot easier moving to Los Angeles with another credit on my resume. The film sets up production and casting in September and begins shooting in October. Which means….I wouldn’t be moving to Los Angeses until November. Which means…I’m holding back because I really am frightened to move all together. Failing in Los Angeles means it’s over. That’s how I feel and I can’t help it. Los Angeles, City of Angels, City of Dreams, City of ‘Fuck You,’ purges itself of the nobody’s who head back to Traverse City, Michigan, Clarksville, Tenneessee, Sarasota, Florida, ashamed to tell their friends and families and ultimately repeat the same monologue about how “it just wasn’t for me.”
If I don’t move I won’t fail. I’ll continue with the success I’ve been having in this Gulf Coast area. I’ve been asked to teach a beginning improv class. I probably couldn’t even get a job at Starbucks in Los Angeles. I want to make it so badly that I’m holding myself back.
Being cast in a horror film would be all too appropriate right now.